ALZHEIMERS BLOGGING:

I talked about Informed Consent. This was something I really needed during the last stage of this disease. On June 8, 2004 was the day when my father in law changed for the worse. The day started like usual, and we went for a walk, and dad had some ice cream when all of a sudden he slumped over. It was that fast when things changed. We got him ready for bed that night, and he tried to help, but he didn't seem to have much control of his arms or legs. The next morning he responded to me very slowly. We did our regular routine, but his legs seemed to be very weak. When I got him his breakfast, he would not eat or drink. Of course I was trying to feed him, and he spit his cereal out at me and told me, "NO." This was when I started to get anxious. He started running a fever, so I crushed some non aspirin in some applesauce and made him eat it. I called the Hospice Nurse. What should I do. Should I forget what he signed and put in a feeding tube?

Just the day before he was awake, sitting in his chair, sometimes getting up taking very little baby steps to get around. I had noticed that for the past week he was not urinating during the day. For the last week he was not getting out of bed like he use to, and he needed help to get around. His appetite had gone down, and he was not talking as much. The biggest unusual behavior was he quit complaining. He was dying. I was in denial. The hospice nurse reminded me of the paper dad signed a couple of years ago, and I should respect his wishes. Dad was going through organ death. He was ready to die. I wasn't ready for him to. It was hard but we respected his wishes and on June 13 he died in his bed with us around him.

It is hard to let a loved one go. We all have to be born and we all have to die. Dad is in heaven with my mother in law now. I talk to him a lot when I am swimming laps in my pool, or when we are doing something around the house and realize Dad may be laughing at us because we didn't to it the way he taught us. I hope this helps.

Sincerely,
Marie Fostino
Alzheimer's A Caretakers Journal
Seaboard Press An Imprint of James A Rock Pub., Co.
www.mariefostino.com
www.mariefostino.blogspot.com